It still hits me. Straight out of the blue. My mom's gone. My.mom.is.gone. It's been over a year, and even though, for the first time, I didn't stop on the 20th of this month and count how long she's been gone, I can still be struck with the painful, heart-wrenching grief that sneaks up on me and reminds me my best friend is gone.

What Can I Say to My Grieving Friend?

Instead of: "I know exactly how you feel."
Try: "I can only imagine what you're going through."
Instead of: "At least he doesn't have to suffer anymore."
Try: "He suffered through a lot, didn't he?"

Instead of: "It's God's will."
Try: "One comfort I find is God's promise to never abandon us."
Instead of: "She wouldn't want you to grieve."
Try: "It's hard to say good-bye, isn't it?"

Instead of: "You can't be angry with God."
Try: "God understands even when we're upset."

Instead of: "At least you have other family members." [or any other "at least," for that matter]
Try: "There's no way to replace the one you've lost, is there?"
Instead of: "Don't you think it's time to get on with living your life?"
Try: "Everyone has to grieve in their own way, don't they?"
Instead of: "Don't talk about the funeral--it will only make you sad."
Try: "We can talk about whatever you want."
Instead of: "Time heals all wounds."
Try: "Time will lessen the pain, but you'll always have a part of him/her with you."
Instead of: "You've got to be strong."
Try: "I want you to know you can be yourself around me"
Excerpt from the book Disrupted:  Finding God in Illness & Loss by Virgil M. Fry, Houston, TX

 
Our Favorite Fried Rice!

To do ahead of time:
~Cook 4 cups of jasmine rice, refrigerate (the recipe works better with rice that is at least one day old. It's less sticky and mixes nicely.
~Cut your veggie assortment in to bite sized pieces and group them in baggies/bowls by their cooking time.
I.E. carrots & sugar peas in one bag, white parts of bok choy and multi colored peppers in another, greens of bok choy and kale or chard in the last bag.

~Scramble 6 eggs with a little bit of milk in the wok and set aside.
~Heat a couple of  tablespoons of cooking oil in the wok and add 2 dried red peppers without seeds and 2 cloves of garlic. When the oil is nice and hot and the garlic starts to turn light brown, take the peppers and garlic out and all your protein. I fry up the fake chicken strips (I use Morning Star Farms Chick'n Strips Meal Starters) with some liquid smoke and set them aside.
~Now add some vegetable broth to the wok and start stir-frying the bag of veggies that takes the longest to cook (carrots/peas). Add other veggies as the first ones get hot (but still crunchy).
~Add back the protein and add the rice and more veggie broth until it's all moist.
~Sprinkle in dark soy sauce or Tamari and add some Maggi Seasoning bringing up the rice mixture from the bottom to the top so it's all coated evenly.
~Add the scrambled eggs back into the mix and the chopped garlic scapes and/or green onions.
~Serve HOT! It's amazing! It's even better the next day!

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